& my world will be coloured.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

UPdates

well now is my 雨過天晴 period i guess... hope it lasts for a long time =x... haha... made up with my sister... and no longer in same group as that person... but, still i think i have to watch my mouth =x ... exams coming soon and i haven study yet >< sianz.
everytime wan study then wan go nemasu (sleep) ... haiz...im afraid of my gpa results for this sem ><
stay positive....oh and... i realised.... i still love my sister alot... although will quarrel... but its normal right? sth that yu xin said is quite true... This life time... is for me to learn from or repay my debt from my past lifes... so its kinda true eh =x

eehui

(Your Name) ♥ 8:01 PM

Sunday, July 17, 2011

and then

the other idiot comes and find me...brags abt how clever he is. Treatsme like im so free like that. but gives me shitty work. treats us like idiots somemore. who does he think he is. i ask u to do this and u do other stuffs. only know how to give ppl more work to do ar... HOW DARE U say u did alot of work... mmostly crap la! wadever... u think i very free? i aso have a life to live ok! i aso have many things to worry like my mum's condition and my sis's realtionships with me and whether im truly fake or not and how my friends are going and how yuxin's doing she ok or nt... not like u la! potato u! one day when i really cant hold it in.... it would nt be surprising that im may do crazy things to u!!! Beware of me ok!

haiz

(Your Name) ♥ 11:23 AM

fine... sure...anything

i think i get what u mean la? u want to coniue pretending i dun exist , then i shall too... well at least im more polite than u. ha. let's see who gets the last laugh then. well, maybe if im gone, then u wun be like this right? this is what u really wanted right? sure. i will grant u ur wish... but not now... bear with it hor! ha. im nt the little coward brat i once was, im telling u!

(Your Name) ♥ 11:20 AM

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Just ignore me or notice me?

i dunno. i know im really selfish. but have u wondered all i want is nt the branded stuffs or things u buy for me? u make me feel that feelings can be brought by using money. All i wanted was... i dunno? just sitting beside u all day, watching the tv tgt, munching our potato chips, growing fat.... a week without quarrelling.... i know that ive hurt u so many times in this 17 years... but... im still growing up? scolding me using ur sensei tone wont change me any better??? has that ever occurred to u? its not like i like u angry or wad.... who likes to be angry???? ur my only sister after all... i know i am very selfish. but have u realised that whenever ur irritated or angry, ur face is damn nasty? have u ever noticed that when u r angry, we quarrel, mama is stressed by it? haveu ever wondered why i always cry in the end? yes. i am weak. im a coward. BUT. i dont act. Maybe u have forgotten about this. but when i was younger, u said i was acting to look pitiful. so that mama will scold u. Do u know that this sentence haunts me until today? eveerytime i cry, be it quarrelling wif u or mama or u and mama or my friends, i would cry while asking myself : "r u really crying or fake crying? r u happy or sad? " i cant differentiate.... this is really confusing u know????? u think i like quarreling with u???? u ... rso unfair do u know??? only u can scold me vulgarities. only u can be angry. only u can give black face. only u can be bad tempered. only u canbe sad. only u can be the right ones. wth??? ur my sister i know...ya... but have u wondered about how i felt? how mummy flet?? everytime we quarrel, u give me the impression that im wrong. ya... 8/10 is mostly my fault. but im nt u... im clumsy! stupid! idiot! BLIND! DUMBASS! not like u... so capable... wad u want???? wad do u want??? all iwant is us nt quarreling... but then there we go again....
i know u have problems with ur work ppl, but, no one asks u not to complain to ma or me right? nv said anything. u dun say, nobody knows right??? and uu think ur the onlyone who got troubles.... ha... ... wad are families for???? ya... i know... u dun wan burden us... but hey, tho we cant really help u anything, but we can be ur listening ear! orjust sit beside u when u vent everything out... do u have to keep everything to urself??? u accuse ppl of doing this and this , but wad if they wont? u dun like ppl to accuse u, theny accuse other ppl? u r human, others are not human??? do u know that how scary it feels to contradict urselfwhile crying and looking at the fruit knife like it is a solution to everything??? i doubt u do ba... i dun rmb since when, everytime we quarrel and i cry, i would qn myself and if a penknife or knife comes across my view, i feel so tempted to end my life??? i doubt u knew... r we a family??? i make mistakes... now and then... very often... but the thing is im unable to learn my mistake by u scolding me and by me crying... u think its so nice to cry thrice a week??? go try thrn... go cry until tml morning ur eyes arepuffy with tears...i dun hate u... but pls consider other ppl's feelings aso!!! we have feelings!!! i have feelings! crying while questioning myself is gg to drive me mental!!! i really... dunno wad to do about u... maybe i should really learn to bottle erything up ... and hope i may get a heart failure soon... and die soon... maybe its a solution to our never ending quarrellings...

(Your Name) ♥ 11:40 PM

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Am trying to mug... exams are very very very neaaar.... die.... mugging... nt quite succssful... too much to worry and fret, too discouraged.... im gg to die of headcahe toooo ... nt enuf time ><>< ... oink =((((

(Your Name) ♥ 6:41 PM

Thursday, October 28, 2010

First week of sch

Hmm.. first few days nt bad ar... and aso no tut this week, which is a gd thing... next week onwards...might be dreadful... im currently taking Organic Chemistry 2, Principles of Inorganic and Physical Chemistry 2, Thermodynamics, Applied Mathematics and Introduction to french language and culture...

Well, next week onwards, i might really hate my mondays... Seriously... Monday blue blues... =.= ... Why? cos my class start at 10am to 1pm, then ONLY one hour break, next, i'll have 1 hr thermodynamics tutorial,3hrs laboratory and 1 hr french lecture continuously without break... die... hahaha

Dunnoe is whether its due to this few days weather or wad... altho i really like the cooling weather, i feel dead tired now... like gg to fall sick soon... i've slim-ed down from 60kg to arnd 56.5kg(this morning's record) from...saturday until todae? and... when its time for lunch, i dun have the appetite to eat... =( ... well, maybe i would go back to 58kg todae... =) cos i ate kfc wif my family just now... todae's the day for this week that i have the biggest appetite...haha...but jnow, im feeling dead tired and... like im gg to have fever... =.= aaaa...sianz... and then, worse, im currently my class's treasurer... which is stressful? cos im at lost with matters regarding to $$$. and that, i feel that my class's head apparently doesnt trust me at all... he makes me feel that im v.untrustworthy, irresponsible person and that he must always prepare stuff by himself... damn... and then, to add things more worse, this week's review of subjects makes me feel that i might have a hard time with all my subjects... even applied mathematics. waaaa.... can cry....

To Be continued

Dunnow y im posting even though my blog is so dead....=.= i must be crazy... and yu xin, i agree with u... most libras, like me, contradict themselves =.=

Stop observing and smirking! I have had enough of it! If im in the condition to use any means to wipe off that silly smile on your face, u wouldnt be able to have the courage to look at me anymore! i rather we go our own ways. So, put that arrogant face of urs away from my vision before i do anything desperate without contradicting myself.

(Your Name) ♥ 11:17 PM

Sunday, October 24, 2010

last day of sem 1 vacation

one word... SIAN! but... aso gt another weird feeling...kinda EXCITED? aaaaaa.... contradictions...=.= one day im gonna die from it?? blwahhh sian... cos i cant play com games when sch starts...yet, im excited cos its a new sem, new subjects, new teachers .... CONTRADICTIONS!!!! hurray =.=

and... im gg to die of awkwardness!!! due to some problems in...my social life?? i dunn really noe how to describe....aaaaaaaa

and.... i must arrange my thoughts... aaaaaaaaaaaaa.............

and i dun think i would be updating my blog after sch starts... unless contradictions follows me to sch and.... i dunno wad im toking about...nvm

nxt time then... would try to update asap?

(Your Name) ♥ 12:20 PM